May 3

Untold Stories

1

I only agreed because I didn’t think we’d be allowed to proceed. But oh, did that desk clerk at Sandy Bottom Nature Park throw me for a loop with her “sure you can take pets on the boats!” I faked a pleasant reaction and paid the woman.
My husband likes to think that we can read each other’s minds. I mean, I’m pretty dead-on when I do it, but him? Lacking. So, while I was in charge of compiling research and …

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Apr 26

Spring Surprises

2

I love surprises. Always have. In fact, much of my marriage has been explaining in painful detail to my husband exactly how I’d like him to surprise for me birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and on and on and on. He loves has grown to tolerate it.
Virginia is finally Spring-ing. Every few days, it will still drop to the 50s, but for the most part, we’re all sprung. Right on into a blooming, blossoming springtime. And here are some of the fun …

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Apr 13

What are Synonyms for “Technological Slap in the Face?”

0

So here’s a true story. I just typed out my best 15 attempts at “hors d’oeuvre” and was so off every single time that spell check did not once rescue me with the correct spelling. Shortcut fail. I did get superb suggestions like devious and hourly, maybe hinting that I’m such a terrible speller I should switch to a more devious profession involving fishnets, desperate business men and hourly rates? My favorite suggestion was “no spelling suggestions,” basically spell check’s polite …

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Apr 9

Explaining the lingering stench that hinted of green beans and mashed potatoes

0

I can remember wondering throughout most of my life what actually constitutes being “lazy.” For example, is it acceptable to lounge around for two days and watch an entire season of Friday Night Lights in 20 hours while neglecting exercise (my own and my canine’s—why does that sound sexual? OMG I need to run.), anything that could be mistaken as real food and all phone calls IF those two days are Saturday and Sunday? What about, thoroughly hypothetical, on a …

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Mar 31

11 Things You Can Do Working from Home Normally Frowned Upon in Office Settings

0

Mimic the noises your dog makes back to him to see if you can have a conversation.
Show up without shoes. But with purple socks on.
Pee with the door open.
Proofread out loud. In character.
Eat cereal at your desk. And chips and salsa. During the same lunch hour.
Roll your eyes and laugh out loud at the ridiculous, last minute request in your inbox.
Decide not to swap the post-shower towel for actual clothes.
Decide not to shower.
Keep the same Amos Lee song on repeat …

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Mar 24

The Meet and Greet

1

Oh, my big, gangly dog. He’s turned into a playful, excitable load of people and dog-friendly fun (unless you ask that one Verizon installation tech who was looking at him in all kinds of the wrong way and whose story we’ll save for a different day). But he’s awfully scary looking. I would certainly keep my distance if I hadn’t seen the way he darts into the house when the wind blows a leaf out of place. He’s tall and …

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Feb 18

Updates. Because you’re riveted. And because working on Fridays is overrated.

0

Did I mention that I’m freelancing full time? Yeah, that happened. Sorry if you didn’t get invited to the party, but you wouldn’t have come anyway. It was in God-forsaken Newport News.
We added to our family. Her name is Tyra and she is a sparkly black 2011 Honda Civic and awesome and I love her and throw out that coffee because we’re leasing.
The gym has been oh-so-good to my moods. And my love handles.
Clayton and I stumbled upon a little …

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Feb 1

Saint Valentine, thanks for hooking me up, player.

0

I’m thinking that a couple’s massage has the potential to be either the most awesome or the most awkward experience ever. My knee-jerk reaction is that watching some perky, fresh-faced University of Phoenix massage program grad rub all up on my husband doesn’t exactly facilitate relaxation. Rage, maybe. Then again, if I could spend 60 minutes staring at my pretty husband while a hunky, exotic import rubs all up on me, um…yes, please. None of this matters, of course. We …

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Jan 19

To Clarify

0

I fear that you have misunderstood. Or that I’ve been misleading.
My life, here in Newport News, Virginia, is incredible. I speak of sadness and missing and what-am-I-doing-here moments,
but
I am healthy.
Whether nature or nurture, it is not in my composition to adjust to being far away from
Brenda or Ken or Tony
or Grace
or aunt-uncle-cousins families.
So, constant undercurrents of emotion
surge and wane
at unpredictable and strange times.
While every day is not spotless from tears,
my everyday is filled with
laughing with my husband
and playing with my …

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Jan 17

2010 in Pictures

0

While I fine tune my resoluting, please enjoy some pictures of our journey through twenty-ten. (Click on the post title to see the pictures. WordPress is being funny.)

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Heading down the road in a U-Haul towards the craziest thing we’ve done. Besides skydiving.

It snowed in February. Again and again and again. It was an undeniable statement that we were not …

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