1. Mimic the noises your dog makes back to him to see if you can have a conversation.
  2. Show up without shoes. But with purple socks on.
  3. Pee with the door open.
  4. Proofread out loud. In character.
  5. Eat cereal at your desk. And chips and salsa. During the same lunch hour.
  6. Roll your eyes and laugh out loud at the ridiculous, last minute request in your inbox.
  7. Decide not to swap the post-shower towel for actual clothes.
  8. Decide not to shower.
  9. Keep the same Amos Lee song on repeat for the entire workday. Or at least until you can nail that high note in the bridge.
  10. Adjust the blinds specifically for optimal neighbor stalking.
  11. Start working at 5p.m. because you are not in control of when Bravo schedules Real Housewives marathons*.

 (*This was actually 10 items until I woke up this morning. Life really is about being open to change.)