So here’s a true story. I just typed out my best 15 attempts at “hors d’oeuvre” and was so off every single time that spell check did not once rescue me with the correct spelling. Shortcut fail. I did get superb suggestions like devious and hourly, maybe hinting that I’m such a terrible speller I should switch to a more devious profession involving fishnets, desperate business men and hourly rates? My favorite suggestion was “no spelling suggestions,” basically spell check’s polite way of saying “you’re such a complete moron even my international language database can’t figure out the slightest idea of what you’re trying to say.”

Does this mean I have to turn in my writers’ club membership I.D.? Hope not, because with that deer-in-headlights thing going on, I look stunning in that photo.