a time for cursing

this is getting beyond frustrating. three weeks, three doctors, two inhalers, 20 blood-drawing pricks, and seven shots later absolutely nothing has changed. excpet that i might be pre-allergic to dust. thanks, doc. here’s 40 dollars. i keep getting these images of my story appearing on “mystery diagnosis” on tlc. i know i have a ways to go before that happens, but the point is no one has any idea what the heck is wrong with me and in the meantime i’m walking around completely terrified with a pain in my chest. but i’m just supposed to go about my business and “see what happens.” wait an entire month for something else to not work. drag this whole process out into a year before someone can look me in the eye and tell me what this is.

i’m trying not to be a baby. but i’m scared.