I only agreed because I didn’t think we’d be allowed to proceed. But oh, did that desk clerk at Sandy Bottom Nature Park throw me for a loop with her “sure you can take pets on the boats!” I faked a pleasant reaction and paid the woman.
My husband likes to think that we can read each other’s minds. I mean, I’m pretty dead-on when I do it, but him? Lacking. So, while I was in charge of compiling research and …

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I can remember wondering throughout most of my life what actually constitutes being “lazy.” For example, is it acceptable to lounge around for two days and watch an entire season of Friday Night Lights in 20 hours while neglecting exercise (my own and my canine’s—why does that sound sexual? OMG I need to run.), anything that could be mistaken as real food and all phone calls IF those two days are Saturday and Sunday? What about, thoroughly hypothetical, on a …

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I’m thinking that a couple’s massage has the potential to be either the most awesome or the most awkward experience ever. My knee-jerk reaction is that watching some perky, fresh-faced University of Phoenix massage program grad rub all up on my husband doesn’t exactly facilitate relaxation. Rage, maybe. Then again, if I could spend 60 minutes staring at my pretty husband while a hunky, exotic import rubs all up on me, um…yes, please. None of this matters, of course. We …

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I want an honorary Ph.D. in Retail Argumentation. The unfounded but so meticulously organized reasoning that I present to my husband when I want a new pair of whatever is, basically, brilliant. Can I tell you how I talked my way into a new pea coat last weekend? Here’s the argument, more or less:
“Well, I know I bought that coat last year, but it’s teal, and that doesn’t go with everything. Also, it’s short, so I wear it when it’s …

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Working from home is every bit as delightful as you’d imagine. You should actually be completely jealous of me every Friday.
I had announced (to my husband) boycotts of Walgreen’s and DirecTV after being pissed off by both companies in the same week. But then DirecTV was installed properly, and I. Am. Obsessed.  Walgreens’ photo department can still suck it.
You just can’t not like the Miami Dolphins.
I decided to cancel the event planning because Flip, Flip, Flip-irginia just isn’t as catchy. …

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Text from her: Hey thanks for pulling the trash cans to the road : (
Text from him: I realized that halfway out of the neighborhood and I was late
Later that day…
Text from him: I have injury clinic tonight 6-7pm. We can eat leftover tacos.
Text from her: Already put chicken out. Strike two, noa.
Text from him: But yesterday I was so good.
Later that night…
Text from him: Sean and some guys want to grab a quick beer if thats ok.
Text from her: …

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This whole experience of moving has come with a seemingly endless well of firsts. And I’m talking in just the last three hours there has been a growing list. Like right now, it’s almost 1AM and I’m just now using the office in our “new” house specifically for writing. It’s intended purpose from the start. Feels pretty good. It might feel better if the sudden kick into the blogosphere wasn’t the result of “To Catch a Predator”-induced insomnia. Seriously, why …

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Me and My Mouse-Killing Hero on Memorial Day
I'm learning we'll do scary things if there's a trusted pair of arms waiting for us in the water.

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I know, I know. For a “writer,” I’m doing a pretty lousy job keeping up with this site. But you know how determined I am? I’m writing right now, right in the middle of my beloved Intervention, even though it’s clear that Richard the crack addict needs my full attention and support.
It’s been a busy few weeks. Clayton’s on-call schedule has felt a bit like being hazed for a fraternity. Except that instead of graduating to kegs and blondes, Clayton’s …

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My husband is breathing again. I’m pretty sure it had decreased significantly over the past month, and then for two days last week, stopped entirely.
Last Wednesday Clayton took the Physician Assistant Certification Exam, codename: PANCE. I have so many “party in Clayton’s PANCE” jokes handy, but I’ll spare you those. For now. So, last Tuesday was full of chest pains and heart palpitations and sweaty palms for both of us. Here is what Clayton’s schedule has looked like since we …

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