There are two kinds of people in the world:
the first kind uses a 15 minute break to walk down four flights of stairs to eat a protein bar and take three chugs of water before heading back up the four flights of stairs to class, arriving with about 11 minutes of the break left.
the second kind returns late to a crowded quiet class after a 15 minute break carrying a full value meal they intend to eat throughout the next …

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Guilt likes to visit me quite often. At any given time, I’m usually berating myself for not working enough or not writing enough or not walking Bryson enough or not cooking dinner enough… simply not being enough.
But that’s a hefty ineffectual waste of  my time. So, I’m going to work on it. I don’t know exactly what that will look like — does it mean I will have to work more and write more and (insert cringe here) cook more or does it simply …

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You’re going to roll your eyes when I tell you this, but honesty is just my policy.
I am heading off to class today with not one essay to turn in, but two. Were two assigned? No. Just the one. But gosh darn it if I couldn’t fit all my insightful prose into the one and a half page maximum. So you know what I did? I emailed my teacher and complained that I am such an overachieving kiss-ass that I …

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This past weekend didn’t come with any unusual expectations. By the end of today, though, the weekend had delivered three swift punches of disappointment to the gut of the Noas’ lives.
1. Bryson had his very first arranged play date with my friend Matt’s dog. Matt was visiting for the weekend, and we thought why not include our canine companions in our catching up? I’ll tell you why not: normal dogs do not appreciate puppy energy. As in, normal adult dogs look down on a …

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A few weeks ago I got to school really early. That alone could be a post in itself, one about how I’ve become Super Student since going back to school and get to campus a half hour early and finish papers a week before they’re due. But this is not about my academic habits.
So, I’m sitting in my car and I decide to do a character development exercise on someone who may or may not be me. This is how …

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I’ve switched teams. No, this has nothing to do with the Japanese girl. It has everything to do with blended fruit. If I had been campaigning in 2008 for the future President of Smoothie Joints, I would be going door-to-door with brochures for and riding around with a bumper sticker clearly supporting Smoothie King. There had been no question about which smoothie place was worth the outrageous price they charge to throw mashed up bananas and ice in a blender: …

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Saturday morning, as Clayton and I were putting on our faces in front of the bathroom mirror (do you think we just roll out of bed looking like this?), Bryson started barking. He only barks when people are at the door, so Clayton went downstairs to see who could possibly be knocking on our door at 9am on a Saturday. After a muffled conversation that I couldn’t understand through the closed bedroom door, Clayton comes back upstairs with a stack …

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I have a crush. On a Japanese girl in my night class.
I really try not to do this, but I am the person who treats someone who can’t speak English fluently like a confused five year old. It doesn’t matter that the person could be 16 or 60; I feel like I have to talk extremely slow and extremely loud and keep my eyes freakishly wide and my eyebrows lifted up over my head in order for them to understand …

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Clayton and I decided to name the fireworks we watched this fourth of July. What that means is, I said, “Let’s name the fireworks!” Silence. “Come on, let’s do it!” Nothing. “Fine. I’ll do it.” Seventeen names later, Clayton chimes in with “Pin Worm.” Brilliant.
 Other notables were Starburst, Rainbow Sprinkles, Pinprick, Space Invaders, and Disney. Next year, I think I will make it more fun by either making it a drinking game or making all the names R-rated. Pinprick is slightly …

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Our Puppy Care for Dummies pocket guide tells us the following about handling our six month old hound/retriever:
“Random defiance, running off for hours, ignoring direction: Don’t take any of your pup’s frustrating behavior personally. Your puppy must challenge you in order to grow up. Through this age-appropriate behavior, she’s testing your authority to ensure that she can trust your judgment. It’s simply a part of nature.
Managing yourself is the most important concentration during this time. Anger and frustration will spell your …

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