His Arguments Are Reserved For…Other Things

I want an honorary Ph.D. in Retail Argumentation. The unfounded but so meticulously organized reasoning that I present to my husband when I want a new pair of whatever is, basically, brilliant. Can I tell you how I talked my way into a new pea coat last weekend? Here’s the argument, more or less:

“Well, I know I bought that coat last year, but it’s teal, and that doesn’t go with everything. Also, it’s short, so I wear it when it’s over 55 degrees. The other coat goes with a lot of things, but it’s more casual. It’s heavier, so I won’t wear it unless it’s around 55 degrees. But it’s not long, either, so what I really need is a neutral coat that is long for casual or dressy outfits when it’s between 40 and 50 degrees outside.”

We didn’t exactly find the “Neutral, Longish, Dressy Casual, For Cold but Not Unbearably Cold Coats” section. But we definitely found a gray pea coat that had my name all over it.

Tomorrow we are planning to go to the nearby outlet mall. My first stops are usually J. Crew and Banana Republic. I am already gunning for the “Modern but Not Trendy, Basic, Winter, Wear with Jeans or High Waisted Pencil Skirt, Goes with Boots and Flats” tops. Because, of course, those are what I really need.