you don’t wear my chains
i’ve always romanticized the idea of packing everything i own into my car and leaving. going i-don’t-know-where and not knowing anyone and having this completely new and different life.
i’ve grown to realize that there is no beauty in leaving. there is nothing romantic about saying goodbye to people you love, especially when you both know that though you will stay in touch and it’s not the last time you will see each other, it is the end of a certain chapter. things will never be this way for us again. and that part is sad. it’s that part that i have been avoiding for the last few weeks. it is like tori said: there is a shadow that is hanging over my leaving tallahassee. it is filled with sadness and missing and goodbyes and fear. i cannot pretend that i am so ready to move on that i have forgotten what moving on means. it means leaving behind five years of memories, five years of new experiences, five years of faces and friendships that have forever shaped my future.
One Reply to “you don’t wear my chains”
Natalie, you write so eloquenly. I could barely get through this post without tearing up. I don’t think anyone could put it better. I wish I could write like this. I think I could cope with the emotions better if I could be so expressive. Not to get overly sentimental, but I’m so thankful you were in my life these past two years. I have been greatly blessed by your presence. You and Clayton have been wonderful examples for Wes and I. Again, I’m so thankful for you both. Like you said, I absolutely positive I have made a life-long friend. This post is completely random, but when you are sitting in a semi-dark mini-library at a Retirement home for the Elder, you get a bit nostalgic and sentimental. Thank you, Natalie, for everything!